May 06, 2010

The soul of soccer

Tonight we'll know which swinish liberal opportunist will be running Great Britain and Northern Ireland for the next few years. At least if it's the faux-conservative Cameron there'll be a smattering of younger Thatcherites in the ranks as well as the PR spivs and parachuted victim groupies. And there'll be an outside chance of genocidally scaled-up throat-cutting in the public sector to slate my immediate bloodlust.

As we await the result, there's a spot on comparison here between Gordon Brown and Rafa Benitez, manager of Liverpool Football Club, the direly underperforming quondam rulers of the world in club soccer.

Brown: terse, prickly, combative; inspires great loyalty in a few (though not many Englishmen) and blanks those he feels have let him down
Benitez: terse, prickly, combative; inspires great loyalty in a few (though not many Englishmen) and blanks those he feels have let him down.
UK plc: needs astonishingly dynamic leadership to restore it to its traditional place in the world order
Liverpool FC: needs astonishing sums of money and managerial skill to restore it to its rightful place in the league.
UK plc: should have invested in infrastructure long ago (nuclear power, high speed rail, roads) if the economy is to thrive
Liverpool FC: should have invested in a new stadium without which gate receipts are £2m-£3m less than Man Utd and Arsenal’s every week.

But best are the comments:
Liverpool, best known for being the only city in Europe where it’s easy to park. Just don’t expect your car to be there when you return.
Just like Labour, the thieving gits.
I dont remember Rafa B selling off all our gold at the lowest price he could get OR inviting a couple of million ne’er-do-wells to suck merrily at the teat of british tax payer largesse.
It used to be so easy supporting Fulham. Every saturday we’d get beaten by the footballing equivalent of the Dagenham Girl’s School Choir 7-0 and that would be fine, well… not exactly fine but we came to accept the world as it was and life was easy, no stress, no hassle.
Now we have started winning things, like football matches and it’s all a bit much.

As Bill Shankly, the immortal former manager of Liverpool, said:
“Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.”
And for good measure:
“Me having no education. I had to use my brains.”
“Aim for the sky and you'll reach the ceiling. Aim for the ceiling and you'll stay on the floor.”